By Fenlock Grimes, Foreign Bureau Chief With additional reporting by Dagmar Bludge, Weaponized History Department This is the story you need to read slowly. This is the story that will change everything you thought you knew about climate change. This is the story about entire nations disappearing within your lifetime—not metaphorically, but literally. THE BRUTAL … Read more
By Tebbit Scorchwillow, Editor-in-Chief SWEIDA/DAMASCUS — The magnificent irony of Syrian political evolution has reached baroque heights as hundreds of Druze protesters took to the streets demanding “self-determination” while waving Israeli flags—apparently convinced that supporting apartheid represents the pinnacle of liberation politics. This development in Sweida province illuminates the delicious contradictions of Middle Eastern identity … Read more
By Fenlock Grimes, Foreign Bureau Chief GAZA/TEL AVIV — The exquisite choreography of humanitarian catastrophe has reached new heights of bureaucratic precision as Israel announced plans to forcibly relocate Palestinians from northern Gaza to “safe zones” in the south—apparently convinced that providing tents to people whose homes you’ve systematically destroyed constitutes charitable generosity rather than … Read more
