### As ratified (under duress) by the Clacks Leak Publishing Cooperative & Magical Waste Disposal, LLP
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_Last Updated: Upon the Third Moon of Bureaucratic Indifference_
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## I. Editorial Independence (Also Known as Chaos with Integrity)
– All writers retain full control over their metaphors, footnotes, and fireballs.
– No editor shall interfere with a journalist’s tone unless it threatens to make sense.
– All metaphors must be at least 80% flammable.
– Bribery will only be accepted in the form of rare tea, lost maps, or state secrets accidentally printed on napkins.
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## II. Sources, Facts & Selective Forgetfulness
– We verify all information using:
– a crystal ball,
– three contradictory witnesses,
– and a half-burned telegram.
– Whenever possible, we cite sources. When not possible, we cite rage.
– If something turns out to be wrong, we will issue a correction in the form of a sarcastic poem or baked good.
– Facts may be fictionalized for clarity. Fiction may be fact-checked for fun.
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## III. Journalistic Conduct
– Reporters shall not sleep with sources, unless it results in a scandal worth publishing.
– Plagiarism is forbidden unless:
– you improve the original,
– or you stole it from someone who deserved it.
– All correspondents are expected to wear metaphorical trench coats, even in emotional climates.
– Reporters must never embed with occupying forces, unless they’re embedding explosives into the narrative.
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## IV. Conflict of Interest (We Have Plenty)
– Editors may not write about nations they’ve previously overthrown, unless under pseudonym.
– Correspondents must disclose:
– familial ties to dragons,
– corporate sponsorships from arms dealers,
– and whether or not they once dated a war criminal.
– In cases of clear bias, writers must double down and declare it poetically.
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## V. Transparency & Obfuscation
– All decisions are made in a fog of ink, incense, and irreconcilable opinions.
– We do not hide our biases. We name them, categorize them, and let them brawl in the margins.
– Anonymous tips are accepted. Anonymous threats are edited for grammar and then archived for inspiration.
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## VI. Satire Clause (Because Someone Will Ask)
– This is a work of political and cultural parody.
– It is designed to expose power, not protect it.
– It punches up, not down — unless someone powerful has fallen asleep on the floor.
– All named characters and institutions are fictional or fictionalized. Any resemblance to real people is **intentionally coincidental**.
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## VII. Corrections & Retractions
– If we get something wrong, we will:
– acknowledge it,
– mutter darkly,
– and issue a correction in the form of either:
– an apology rendered in interpretive dance,
– or a formal addendum written in footnote hexameter.
– We do not delete articles unless legally or cosmically required.
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## VIII. Public Accountability
– Readers are welcome to submit complaints, questions, or rebuttals.
– These will be reviewed by our in-house ombuds-gnome, who responds based on a dice roll and mood.
– Valid concerns will be handled with care. Invalid ones will be forwarded to Miss Malaclara Weatherfax for public shaming and divination.
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## IX. Closing Invocation
> *May our satire be sharp, our sources strange, and our metaphors borderline actionable. May those who wield unjust power tremble before our pens, or at least trip over our headlines.*
Signed in ink, smoke, and plausible deniability,
**The Clacks Leak Editorial Tribunal**