Issued by The Clacks Leak Publishing Cooperative & Magical Waste Disposal, LLP
Last Updated: Not sure but, I think it was around the time when… AAH! WDH!
📡 What We Collect (Probably)
We don’t intentionally collect personal data. But let’s be honest: the owls are listening, the cookies are baked, and the clacks have ears. If you leave a comment, fill out a form, or even breathe near a modem, someone somewhere is watching. Hopefully not us.
We may see:
- Your IP address (which we promptly ignore unless it looks funny)
- Your browser type (outdated, we’re guessing)
- Whatever name you enter in forms (feel free to lie)
- Messages you send (which may end up as headlines)
We do not:
- Sell your data to third parties
- Use your personal info to summon dark spirits
- Ask for your star sign unless it’s for investigative astrology
🍪 Cookies (Not the Crumbly Kind)
Yes, our site uses cookies. Not the delicious ones. The boring tech kind.
These cookies help:
- Load pages without crying
- Remember if you prefer light mode (you masochist)
- Allow comments (if enabled) without repeating captchas from hell
You can disable cookies in your browser. This will probably break something. That’s on you.
📬 Emails & Submissions
If you send us an email:
- It will be read by a human (or a close approximation)
- It may be responded to, ignored, or accidentally turned into satire
- We might save it for record-keeping, legal defense, or bedtime reading
We highly recommend you use encrypted services (ProtonMail, Tutanota, spell-casting pigeons) if you’re sending anything remotely sensitive.
🧙 Magical Disclosures
This is a parody site. We aren’t tracking you like social media platforms. But we also can’t guarantee your data won’t fall into a magical sinkhole, be eaten by gremlins, or be subpoenaed by rogue states.
If you’re worried about privacy, assume you have none. Then work from there.
đź“ť Your Rights (Such As They Are)
You might have rights under GDPR, CCPA, or the Sacred Law of the Seventh Realm. If you ask us to delete your data, we’ll try. But you’ll have to:
- Prove you exist
- Tell us what we collected
- Not be a time traveler trying to erase their footprint
⚠️ Final Note
If you’re looking for legal certainty, comfort, or a privacy policy that makes you feel warm inside: you’re lost. This is The Clacks Leak.
We leak.
We laugh.
We leave the lights on for whistleblowers and weirdos.
“You clicked. You clacked. You assumed risk. That’s on you.”