Tebbit Scorchwillow

MIDDLE EAST DISPATCH: When Ethnic Cleansing Masquerades as “Safe Zones”

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By Tebbit Scorchwillow, Editor-in-Chief SWEIDA/DAMASCUS — The magnificent irony of Syrian political evolution has reached baroque heights as hundreds of Druze protesters took to the streets demanding “self-determination” while waving Israeli flags—apparently convinced that supporting apartheid represents the pinnacle of liberation politics. This development in Sweida province illuminates the delicious contradictions of Middle Eastern identity … Read more

# **EUROPE DISPATCH: Cracks in the Alliance Architecture

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By Tebbit Scorchwillow, Editor-in-Chief BRUSSELS — While diplomats were busy congratulating themselves on their “unified response” to Trump’s Alaska theater, the real story was unfolding in defense ministries across the continent: France and Italy have quietly told Washington to stuff its latest arms bazaar, refusing to join a US-led NATO initiative to purchase American weapons … Read more

The Great Digital Wall Dance:

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By Tebbit Scorchwillow Ah, dear readers, pull your chairs in close to the diplomatic campfire, where the smoke smells faintly of burnt treaties. Roast your marshmallows of irony until the hypocrisy oozes down your cuffs. The gods, bless their bureaucratic little hearts, have been shuffling papers again—and wouldn’t you know it, they’ve stamped out matching … Read more

What’s been going on this week in the world?

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by Tebbit Scorchwillow 1. Trump-Putin Alaska Summit: “Two emperors meet in the frozen wastes to discuss how to carve up someone else’s empire. Historians note this is the first time Alaska has hosted a summit where both participants already own more nukes than brain cells. The meeting location was chosen specifically because it’s the only … Read more

The Great Grand Folly: When Two Realms Clash Over Who Has The Shinier Pile of Dung

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By Tebbit Scorchwillow, Foreign Affairs, Fires, and Other Things the Gods Forgot The world is ablaze with the most tedious argument since someone decided to count angels on pinheads while Rome burned, only now it’s considerably more expensive and involves nuclear weapons. On one side, we have the Noble Realm of the West—a collection of … Read more

Letter From The Editor

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Filed by Tebbit Scorchwillow, Proprietor & Senior Editor Citizens, denizens, and suspiciously quiet observers, Welcome to The Clacks Leak — a humble little firetrap of a paper stitched together from half-burnt cables, unverified communiqués, and the kind of sources that usually vanish after saying, “Off the record, but…” We report from the cracks. The liminal. … Read more