By Tebbit Scorchwillow, Editor-in-Chief
SWEIDA/DAMASCUS — The magnificent irony of Syrian political evolution has reached baroque heights as hundreds of Druze protesters took to the streets demanding “self-determination” while waving Israeli flags—apparently convinced that supporting apartheid represents the pinnacle of liberation politics. This development in Sweida province illuminates the delicious contradictions of Middle Eastern identity politics, where oppressed minorities seek protection from one occupying force by appealing to another.[1]
The protests emerged following deadly clashes between Druze militias and Bedouin Sunni tribes, creating the perfect pretext for Israeli intervention in Syrian internal affairs. That Druze communities would wave the flags of a state currently conducting systematic genocide against Palestinian civilians demonstrates either spectacular political naivety or the desperate pragmatism of minorities who recognize that principles are luxuries unavailable to those facing sectarian extinction.[1]
Meanwhile, the exquisite timing proves particularly revealing: as Israel prepares yet another “final offensive” to eliminate Hamas—the seventeenth such final solution in twenty-two months—Syrian Druze communities apparently believe that aligning with ethnic cleansers represents their optimal survival strategy. This calculation suggests that sectarian politics in the Levant have devolved into competitive victimhood where minorities compete for the patronage of regional hegemonies regardless of those patrons’ own criminal behaviors.[1]
The broader implications extend far beyond Syrian domestic politics into questions about how identity-based resistance movements navigate the moral compromises required for survival. When the choice becomes supporting Assad’s authoritarianism, Turkish occupation, Iranian proxies, or Israeli apartheid, the Druze apparently concluded that genocide practitioners offer superior protection than the alternatives available.
Let the gods file their own paperwork—because apparently the gods have decided that Middle Eastern politics should resemble a medieval protection racket where minorities auction their loyalty to whichever regional power offers the most convincing threats against their enemies.
“If the map catches fire, redraw the border.”
—Tebbit Scorchwillow, The Clacks Leak
Editor-in-Chief
References:
- Syria: Hundreds demonstrate for Druze ‘self-determination’ – DW – Deutsche Welle, August 16, 2025
[1] https://www.dw.com/en/middle-east/s-14207 [2] https://ecfr.eu/publication/beyond-proxies-irans-deeper-strategy-in-syria-and-lebanon/ [3] https://www.mei.edu/publications/gulf-states-fluid-post-war-middle-east [4] https://www.reuters.com/world/middle-east/netanyahu-says-new-gaza-offensive-will-start-soon-2025-08-10/ [5] https://rsis.edu.sg/rsis-publication/rsis/the-future-of-irans-axis-of-resistance-in-syria-and-lebanon/ [6] https://www.npr.org/2025/08/11/g-s1-82007/gulf-states-newsroom-receives-grant-from-w-k-kellogg-foundation [7] https://www.npr.org/2025/08/16/g-s1-83121/marwan-barghouti-video-famous-palestinian-prisoner [8] https://www.cfr.org/backgrounder/lebanon-how-israel-hezbollah-and-regional-powers-are-shaping-its-future [9] https://subscriber.politicopro.com/article/eenews/2025/08/12/interior-raises-cap-on-state-payouts-from-gulf-energy-leases-00504944 [10] https://www.nytimes.com/2025/08/16/world/middleeast/israel-nationwide-strike-hostages.html