FOREIGN AFFAIRS: THE EMPIRE THAT MISTOOK IMPUNITY FOR IMMORTALITY By Tebbit Scorchwillow, Editor-in-Chief Foreign Affairs, Fires, and Other Things the Gods Forgot WASHINGTON/THE REST OF THE PLANET — There is a peculiar disease that afflicts powerful countries. At first, they believe they are strong. Then they believe they are indispensable. Eventually, after several aircraft carriers, … Read more
*By Rumblestone Clacksworthy III, Economics & Other Hallucinations* *** **WASHINGTON/OTTAWA/MEXICO CITY** — The **magnificent absurdity** of modern capitalism has reached new heights as Canada and Mexico discover that “friendship” with America extends precisely as far as their **quarterly profit margins**, evidenced by the ongoing trade war that has somehow managed to exempt 85% of trade … Read more
*By Soot Hackwell, Politics & Poison Department* *** **OTTAWA** — Nothing quite illuminates the **tender mercies** of modern capitalism like watching 10,000 flight attendants simultaneously decide that serving overpriced airplane coffee isn’t worth tolerating management’s **contemptuous wage offerings**, thereby transforming Air Canada into the world’s most expensive fleet of decorative aluminum sculptures.[1] The strike, which … Read more
